This morning as Cheryl was mucking out the stalls, Bae escaped and was gorging on the lush green grass in the yard.  Cheryl was attempting to get her back in the corral but Bae was not having it.  Every time Cheryl got close, Bae’s body language was clear as she turned and moved quickly away.  She was not about to get caught and put back.

Cheryl came and got me from the house and I followed her to the back yard to see if I could catch the seemingly ravenous horse.  Bae was eating grass as fast as she could, probably swallowing some of the leaves whole so she could stuff more into her chewing mouth.  I hid the lead rope behind my back, held out an alfalfa treat, and approached her.  Surprisingly she let me pet her and put the rope around her neck.  Fashioning a make shift halter on her head, I quickly had her under control.  I pulled her head up and she pulled back.  I forced her head up. I felt like I was taking candy from a baby.  ‘Poor girl,’ I thought, ‘she is not supposed to ever have what she loves so much.’ —  Green grass is too sugary for Bae and Honey, they are both on the brink of laminitis.  Green grass to a horse in this condition is like pure sugar to a diabetic.

As I insisted, and pulled her away from her treat, I realized what a hypocrite I am.  I am not supposed to have sugar, or chocolate, or gluten, or dairy, but for the past couple weeks as I have been pushing myself to exhaustion working on the barn among other things, I have been eating whatever I wanted, especially chocolate candy bars, to rev my body up to do my bidding.  I know this is not good for me, or for my nerves, yet I continue to self destruct by binging on work and chocolate and cereal and milk and bread!

Pulling Bae away from that green grass, and seeing myself in her, greedily destroying her health, shifted something in me.  I decided if my horses have to be on a strict diet for their health, I can take care of my health too and be on a strict diet with them.  I have been on strict diets before.  I know the benefits, but slipping into binge eating for energy, and by so doing self destruct mode, is also a pattern I recognize in myself.  Today I  begin again, in earnest, to take care of my body as I take care of my horses bodies.

My daughters have been promoting the Wahls Protocol to me, which is a type of Paleo diet, so I will focus my eating attention on following this protocol.  I wrote a short book review about the Wahls Protocal earlier in my blog.  Click here to read it.